Like Father, Like Son

Anthon and I shared our own "like father, like son" moment at church one Sunday when he donned his new gray suit.

Anthon wore it for the yearly program where the youth of the congregation get up and sing and give talks. Shelley had been working with Anthon for months to memorize the songs, etc. Right before he and the other kids went up to the stand, we gave him some gum to chew. Anthon has about a two minute tolerance for gum before he swallws it up. But on that day, almost sensing the imminent horror by his parents, Anthon proudly chewed his gum like a cow chewing its cud...all the while singing songs about Christ, families, etc. Our best pantomiming efforts to tell him to swallow his gum were conveniently not understood and he kept on his brazen display of gum chewing. We can laugh about it now.

The singing and the suit made it worth it.

6 Hours of Trains, 1 Hour of Work, 30 Minutes of Sightseeing

I’ve been traveling more for work, which is actually VERY nice. I love getting out and meeting the people who sell our mutual funds and to hear what they're going through. I’ve been heading into more rural areas lately as well. Last week, I went to a town called Matsumoto, home to a 400 year old feudal castle - one of the most famous in Japan because it is the original structure. Matsumoto is a 3 hour train ride from Tokyo. We had a few minutes before our meeting so my colleague and I played tourist.

This is the kind of town where foreigners aren't aplenty if you catch my drift. In Tokyo, as odd as it may seem, I can actually blend in quite a bit. But in towns like Matsumoto foreigners are either English teachers, tourists, or Mormon missionaries. And in the course of our brief visit, we actually ran into all three. With my colleague by my side as we walked around in our dark suits, ties and white shirts, carrying heavy bags, I felt like we were missionaries. But instead of talking about religion, we were preaching to our audience (financial advisors), "Invest for the long-term, be patient, don't panic!" Unfortunately, as it was when I was a missionary, our words seem to fall on deaf ears.

As an aside, I was a missionary in a similar town to Matsumoto with a similarly old castle. Behind each castle is usually a large park. We would regularly come to the park and throw around a Frisbee as a way to meet people. We would throw it to each other for a few minutes and then pick someone to talk to and throw the Frisbee "inadvertently" in their direction and strike up a conversation. This usually was an effective way of getting people to interact with us, but not as effective once we switched gears to introduce the Mormon church.

Anyway, I digress. Seeing the castle made me really happy. I mean, it’s not everyday you sightsee during your work day, right? And yes we did actually do work. After our our of work we had to run as fast as we could back to the train station to catch the three hour train ride home. The tally for the day? 6 hour train ride, 1 hour presentation, 30 minute tourism. Not bad.

And for those interested in Los Angeles, on the way home, our train took us through Chino. I mean, I knew Chino was in the 909, but I didn’t know it was THAT far away from civilization.

When in Japan, work as the Japanese

The Japanese language can be a psychologically humbling language - and not for the obvious reason of it being a difficult language to learn. There is a forced humility in the certain words and phrases that one uses.

Case in point, I leave for home each day around 7:30 PM. As I pack up and walk towards the door, I say, "saki ni shitsurei-shimasu" or translated literally, "please excuse my rudeness for leaving before you." Everyone that is still there replies, "o-tsukaresama deshita" or "you were a hard worker." It's not as awkward as it sounds, it's just a cultural norm replaces saying goodbye or goodnight.

But the fact that they don't simply say goodbye and goodnight in and of itself is telling. Japan as a society values working late, which value has been ingrained into millions of workers. It's not just about getting work done, but it's also about 'doing the time.'

And while I'm of the first to get to work, there aren't any accolades that come to those who come early...just those who stay late it seems. Only the last one home avoids having to apologze for leaving before the others.

I tried to work my hours, early in - early out, but when I would leave for the night the cynic in me hears a more sarcastic reply of coworkers who are stuck having to work, and in their minds are saying "o-tsukaresama deshita...NOT!" Because of that vibe that may or may not be there I changed slightly my hours - not working any more or less, but being there later. We'll see how it goes.

The Toe Game

So you know how there are things that you didn't know about your spouse, or your spouse's family that pop up years later? Well, Shelley learned that our humble family are the originators of 'the toe game.' Thankfully not a deal breaker in our marriage.

What is the toe game, you ask? Think keep-away meets gym socks. Each player lies on the bed, while one holds a sock between their toes and tries to keep everyone else from grabbing it with, you guessed it, their toes. Here's a picture of me totally dominating in the toe game.

I remember playing the toe game with my Dad when he would come home from work. We'd be watching TV together on his bed, usually a sporting event, and it would devolve into the toe game. Really fun memories. We taught Anthon the game and he seemed to get into it. He still has a ways to go before he has strong sock grabbing and protecting abilities.

So all in all, not a bad family secret. Though I'm not so sure Shelley's ready to bust out the game when we have guests over. But who knows?

5 Years

Shelley and I were married five years ago today and it's hard to fathom where the time has gone. It's blown by. In that time we've traveled across 5 continents, moved to Japan, had two kids, laughed a lot (argued only a little!) and grown deeper in love. I can't imagine my life without Shelley and am grateful I married someone so beautiful, loving, compassionate, fun, spiritual and intelligent. Each day I'm reminded of how lucky I am to have found and wooed Shelley Daetwyler. She is my best friend. I love you, Shelley, and look forward to the many years we have ahead of us.

Another Sunburn

A quick trivia question for you all - can you tell which parts of my back came into contact with suntan lotion and which parts didn't? Let me tell you, that's the last time I use spray-on suntan lotion.


I have a knack for getting sunburn on the very first day of becah vacations. I don't set this as a goal, it just happens. The night after I got burned, as we were saying our family prayers, I could have sworn Shelley said, "and please bless that Tony's sunburn won't hinder us from having a good time in Florida." Shelley contends, however that she said me instead of us! For the record, I didn't let the sunburn hinder my having a good time, except I did fry my scalp a few days later.

So, I was rolling on the beaches of Florida sporting a t-shirt and hat towards the end of the week. Nothing says 'advanced age' and 'uncool' like some dude hanging out on the beach or wading in the water with a t-shirt and hat...but that was me. I really feel bad that Shelley has to be married to someone like that!

Daytrip to Odaiba

Before jumping into this post, first some background. a few months ago, Anthon choked on a chocolate covered ice cream bon bon. The babysitter knew the Heimlich maneuvre and got him to cough it up...thankfully. Anthon's love for this babysitter has reached saint-like status. Every Sunday at church Anthon, without fail, will go up to her and say something along the lines of, "I was chocking and you saved my life." It's really cute.

Anthon had another brush with danger this weekend at Odaiba - a beach and resort area in the Tokyo Bay. He was stripped down to his diaper, throwing rocks, shells and wet sand into the water, while walking among dead jellyfish and sand crabs. As he walked into the water to wash himself off, he went in a bit too far, lost his footing and tumbled into deeper water. Had he realized it, he could have stood up and been fine, but the water kept him off balance and he struggled to keep his head above water. We were right there and it took a second for both my and Shelley's brain to register that what we were seeing was our boy drowning. He was no more than a few feet from me so I walked into the water and pulled him out. So now at home Anthon will come up to me from time to time and say, "I couldn't get out of the water and Dad saved my life!"

So if Anthon were a cat, 2 of his 9 lives would be gone by the time he's 3 years old. Here's a video.





I've done this once before with my Dog, Lexie. She was hounding my little niece who was walking with a plate of french bread outside. One piece fell off and the dog choked on the french bread. One of you (not naming names or anything) mocked my dog for not knowing how to chew. But I did the doggie heimlich and out popped the french bread.

Anyway, Odaiba is kind of a cool place. It's built on reclaimed land, so you're pretty sure where it's going to end up when the big one hits Tokyo (read: underwater). But in the mean time, there's a replica Statue of Liberty, a giant Ferris Wheel, lots of restaurants, shopping and even a Toyota store where you can test drive cars around the showroom. We took the family there, including Shelley's sister, Rachel, and spent a nice afternoon. Click on the picture below for more pictures.

Business Trips and a Pregnant Wife

In yet another strong showing in my bid to become "husband of the year", I spent last week in San Francisco attending a global sales conference with my company, while Shelley was only weeks away from giving birth to our second child. Nothing like cutting it too close. Needless to say I kept the Blackberry close at hand...while Shelley made contingency plans with various friends from our church congregation just in case. I knew that if I missed this birth I would never live it down. Luckily everything worked out fine. No baby was born while I was gone.

The decision to go was made at the last minute, only after the doctor seemed pretty sure that our baby wasn't about to be born. But sometimes doctors can be wrong. My brother-in-law left for a medical school interview after receiving such assurances and his wife had the baby with him listening in on the phone.

Business trips are much more difficult now than they were when we lived in LA. First of all, Shelley would always say that she would miss me whenever I would leave for a trip. But now she's also envious - and I don't blame her one bit. I've been back to the U.S. twice since our move in January. I've tried to make it up to her, though. I have a "honey-buy" list and I lug Sure-Jell, canned pumpkin filling and corn masa, etc., in an extra bag back to Japan for the family. Secondly, it's harder on Anthon. He had to be pried from my arms so I could board my train. I could hear him crying all the way onto the train platform. That makes me feel good to know I'm giving my son abandonment issues! And it's harder on me. For a variety of reasons, it's just harder to be away from family now. Business travel can be fun, but it is lonely and I'm missing my family much more.

On the bright side, I have to say that I was glad to get to come to this conference. I saw my 90 year old Grandmother, my parents, my sister from New York and her new little baby girl, and I had a ton of opportunities to shoot pictures...a rarity. The meetings were productive.

You know the cheesy cliche, 'home is where the heart is'? I think it's true. Though we've been in Japan only three months, it feels like home to me. Having been in LA twice now since the move, I felt myself that home was with my family back in Tokyo. And that I couldn't wait to get back there to see them.

I took some pictures of my time there. Click on any of the pictures to take you there.

Family Night

One of my goals for 2008 has been to have family night (or just some family time) - something where we can have fun, even if it's just for a short period of time before Anthon has to go to bed. I think it's having the desired effect, certainly on me. I think I naturally fall into the mode of parenting Anthon, which means limiting what he does because I'm tired or annoyed or whatever. Certainly that doesn't make for a fun Dad. But in the context of family time I find myself being more patient, tolerant of Anthon being a little boy and the result is we all just have a lot of fun.

Our family outings have consisted of trips to the zoo, trips to cultural spots within Tokyo, dinners out and letting Anthon run around. We have a Mac and we decided to have fun with the Photo Booth application.

I broke the bed

I'm a little ashamed to admit it, but I broke our bed twice last week. All I know is that when Shelley's on the bed, everything's cool. But when Tubby Tubberson (me) gets on, everything breaks down. Twice. The last time was in the middle of the night and I didn't do anything. Yet, it was my side that broke. The only real explanation is that my brain must be getting bigger...because I'm sure that I'm a getting a lot smarter. Either that, or it's large quantities of Korean BBQ that I'm eating.

Here's a nice picture of our bed in the corner of the room and the broken frame. Anyone know a good carpenter in the Tokyo area?

The yakitori truck...the new taco truck?

Our family was taking a walk around our neighborhood when we happened upon a guy selling yakitori. What's yakitori? Well, if you ask Shelley, she'd say that it is simply burnt meat on a stick. More on her disdain later. Yakitori is literally translated to mean "grilled chicken". Think of them as small Japanese shish-kabobs with chicken (all sorts of parts of the chicken!) and vegetables.

By the way, if you're reading this and you live in LA, then you should run, not walk, to Little Tokyo and go to a place called Kokekokko which quite possibly could serve the best yakitori in all the world. I'm dead serious about this. Of course, it is because of Kokekokko that Shelley, and my Mom for that matter, don't like yakitori. You have to sit on these hard stools and the food comes out stick by stick, you have a minimum order and it takes a long while to get your food. The owner is a bit of a Soup Nazi to his staff, but it's worth the wait. The yakitori is wonderful. No reservations, get there early, and order right away. My Dad and I go there when our wives are out of town or otherwise indisposed. So maybe this a guy thing.

So, yes,I love yakitori, I see this small truck and I have to stop and get one. Anthon sees a chicken meatball stick and starts screaming, "meatball...MEATBALL!" So we get him one and this kid who really is ambivalent about eating in general eats, no devours like the most voracious carnivore, the four meatballs in about 30 seconds. And he's screaming for more while his mouth if full of meatball. So we hurry back to the truck for one more. I have only seen this level of crazed passion towards a food a few times before. Tacos comes to mind!

If you know me, you know that I also love the taco truck, a small catering truck in Pasadena that our family has been going to for years...more than 15 to be exact. And seeing Anthon go ga-ga for not only the taco truck as well as the yakitori truck is more solid than, I think, DNA evidence that Anthon is my child. So, being in Japan I know that I am not going to be able to visit the taco truck but a few times a year. I will have to have a substitute go-to place for my late night food cravings. Maybe this yakitori truck will be it.

To my friends in LA and Pasadena, please do think of me when you go to the taco truck. And for those who haven't been to the taco truck, it's on Fair Oaks, just above California in Pasadena. Don't be fooled by the one just above it. The real taco truck is in the Nishikawa Auto Parts parking lot.

School's out...forever!

Far be it from me to quote Alice Cooper's most famous song, but truer words have never been spoken this day. I finished my last class of formal education, completing the requirements for my MBA at the University of Southern California. I envisioned leaving class with fanfare in the background as I walked out of class in slow motion high fiving classmates as I passed. But it was really anticlimactic...imagine that! I celebrated finishing my last night in school by sitting in traffic heading to my family. I was rewarded by my son wanting to put on all 13 new pair of underwear.

It's been a two and a half year process going part time two or three nights a week - and by so doing winning no husband or father of the year awards. But it's been worth it for me as this has been a life long goal.

Anyway, so I'm open for any suggestions on how to best fill my time. I plan to spend more time at home and finally get back to reading for fun. Any other ideas?

Father's Day 2007

It's reassuring to me as a Father to know that my son is learning to pull his own weight in this world. For Father's Day, I received two pairs of cuff links, a pair from Shelley and a pair from Anthon. Shelley purchased them online from the same retailer on Ebay. The first pair came at a reasonable retail price, but the second pair came via an auction with no reserve and no bidders. The opening price was $0.01. Shelley happened upon the auction with 30 seconds remaining and the cuff links were cool, so she decided to bid $0.01 and she won it.

My proud father moment came later that day when Anthon and Shelley were walking and found a penny on the sidewalk. A penny doesn't go very far in this world, but in this instance it was enough for Anthon to buy my Father's Day gift. Shelley had him pick it up and give it to her, thus allowing him to earn enough to buy me a gift. So sweet.

Here is a picture of me opening up the cuff links with Anthon looking on. Gotta love the expression on his face.

Three generations of Anthon

I never really knew my Dad's Dad...the first Anthon. From what I hear, he was an amazing man. He served in the FBI during World War II, then ended up being a Sociology and Criminology Professor at the University of Utah. He even taught a marriage and family relationship class to my Mom before she married my Dad. He died, however, before I could remember him.

Anthon IV, my son, has a great relationship with my Dad, which makes me very happy. It's pictures like these that I know one day will be a great memory for me and my son. It's not often that you can get three generations of Anthons together! This picture was taken at the Dodger game a few days ago.

Twins!

For Father's Day, Shelley's Mom, Sally, bought Anthon and me matching Polo button downs. Anthon's now just able to fit into his. I think we make a pretty good looking twosome.